Re-discovering Self. Motivation thru Life, Music and Art


A beautiful ending..

Semester’s almost over… WHEW! I can’t wait until this time next week when I can officially have my life back. Well at least for about a month. But each day I get closer to walking across that stage. I can see the finish line, I’m running, my feet are tired, but I will make it. With that said, I’ve been busy doing my last minute assignments before finals. I shot a short video last weekend for one of my film classes. I haven’t edited it yet, but did get a look at the footage and as a first not quite happy with it, at all. This is definitely a assignment, just to fulfill the requirement for class, as I felt a bit sabotaged by the professor we had this semester. Not to make a bunch of excuses, but not only was this not the assignment I wrote to film, it was rushed and compacted within a few hours to shoot. I hate when people scrutinize the ideas of others, especially when each person has their own artistic vision. But I’m more mad at myself for not following my own rules and conforming my idea & vision to an uncaring professor. Point is, if you don’t stand up for your own vision, don’t expect someone else to do so.. in the end he (the professor) gets paid and I’m left with a unwanted, unplanned project that does not properly truly reflect my creativity or abilities.  But still I will share, once I finish editing it.

In other news, my outside creative life has been flourishing. I have been spending my time more wisely and trying out new things. Especially in the food department. I have taken more time to wholeheartedly create better versions of the foods I love to eat already. I remembered as a youth I loved cooking and making up things in the kitchen, so I recently tapped back into my inner-cook and began to come up with some really delicious things. And I’m just getting started.

Musically, the pen has been back to the pad again. I’ve been squeezing in a lyric or two here and there. I was however inspired by a beat from a instrumental CD given to me by “P the EMCEE aka. PRIME”, “P” is from Buffalo, NY and he nicely hit me with a few beat CD’s for me to listen and pick a few songs from for my album. I’ve had the beats since this summer, but this past week I took the opprotunity to really sit with them and fully listen to his production. All I have to say is.. “P” is a beast! He’s extra dope on the lyrics too and I’m looking forward to working with him. So from the album of like 16 beat, all of them dope, two just hit me in the heart and the lyrics started flowing instantly. I began writing on one yesterday and just finished up the second verse for it today. The song is called “Serve U”, well that ‘s the working title for now; and yes it’s about serving, spoiling and pleasing your man. Ladies, when did that ever go out of style? Well somewhere it did, when everyone got hardcore and nobody wanted to be considered.. dare I say.. SPRUNG! I don’t mind being SPRUNG, in fact I think it’s absolutely necessary! Everybody needs to go get SPRUNG and get off the hardcore, desensitized emotional BS! Yes, I said that. And more women need to get back into pleasing their man, and men pleasing their woman.. the world would be a much happier place. (But that’s another story).

Anyhow, in the meantime, between time… I’m posting photos of my delicious dishes below.. and I hope you all find something you like doing…. and do it! 🙂

Until next time. Much love & many blessings. Your friend…


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Lazy Daze

Hanging with J*DaVey!!

Uuh! I love those lazy daze. Don’t wanna hear me say.. that it’s okay. Ouu, I love those lazy daze… I love those lazy.. da-ya-ze..

So what! I butchered the song. Yeah, yeah. Isin’t the art of singing songs to sing them wrong and making up your own meaning? Well, I absolutely love and adore J*DaVey and would never want to do any of their songs injustice, so I will post the corrected lyrics below. Anyhow, IT’S SNOWING!!! YEAAAAAAH!!! And it’s soooooo PRETTY! I love the first snow. It’s kinda like the first kiss, innocent & pure. It silences the neighborhood and brings peace and calm. No more hanging out on the stoop with the loud ass music of summer. Yes, I said that. Some people take things to the extreme, especially in the neighborHOOD. And my little Brooklyn spot with its thin wall, can feel like I’m living between two nightclubs, but that’s another story.

So anyhow, I’m all revved up for the new year! Yes, I said that too, the new year. It is quickly approaching. I’m already thinking of all the things that I did not do this year, but not in a bad way. I’m simply sliding it over to my next years plate, and getting an early jump on things. What are some things you didn’t accomplish this year, that you will next year? For me, I did not make it to pole dancing classes, (AGAIN!) and I did not stick to my workout regimen this year. So I’m figuring I can get an early start on next year by beginning now. Actually, this is the perfect time to begin getting in shape for spring. So yeah, I’m diving in right now… right after this last pop tart and cup of Peach Ginger tea, yum!

Also, today I’m taking this snowy, relaxing time to put together a short-term goals list; as per the request of my Fiance’ (Hi handsome!). I needed to do it anyhow, but this way I’ll have someone to be accountable to, in helping me stay on track. So today I’m writing out my list called : Things I need to accomplish by graduation in may. Like..

1) the book i’m working on..

2) Finishing my album..

3) Getting my look and the first 2 video’s together off the album… (& I didn’t even mention school yet)

.. 4).. 5).. 6)… Blah.. blah.. blah… and GRADUATE!! (<— school colors intended )

So yeah, there’s no real room for boredom, If I stay focused… which is such a hard task in itself. Anyhow, I’m not going to talk long today.. since its obvious now that I have a ton of other things that I need to do. But before I go… I’m going to leave you with these few words…

Time, it sings pretty things
And doing whatever we please
And Listening to the radio
Wacthin’ all the people go around there
Just feelin the breeze (breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze)
Hot nights city lights
And rhythmic the way that we breathe
And blastin’ on your stereo
Watchin’ all the people go around there
Don’t want you to leave
(LA) stay right here with meChorus:
Lazy Daze
Don’t wanna hear you say, that you cant stay babe
Hey, I love my lazy daze-y
Hey, I love my lazy daze-y
Hey, ay, lazy daze
Don’t wanna hear you say, that you cant stay baby
Hey, I love my lazy daze-y
Hey, I love my laze dazeCheck it out now
Calm down
Chillin out
Throw a record on and that
Spin it up, turn it out
Till the break of dawn
No work to do, me and you
Can yall hear me?
(oh ooh ooh ooh ay ay)Sit here, disappear
Don’t move a muscle now
Work to do, me and you
(oh ooh ooh ooh oh oh) 2xSing it again yeah
Lay ay ay, lazy daze
Don’t wanna hear you say that you cant stay baby
Hey I love my lazy daze-y
Ay, I love my lazy daze-y
(come on now)
Hey hey, lazy daze
Don’t wanna hear you say that you cant stay baby
Yeah I love my lazy daze
Yeah yeah
I love my lazy daze (2x’s)
Yeah yeah, Yeah yeah One more time
I love my lazy dazeSay lazy daze yeahNow time it sings dirty things
Something to think about me
And we sing those incredible
Making it so beautiful
And around there, I’m so happy to be
(in LA)
Sittin here, crystal clear
Making some from nothing maybe
Me you can see it through
Turn this into something
Meanwhile you and I (ah ah)
Feel the breeze
Please, stay right here with me

And those are the lyrics… Are you happy now 🙂

Have a beautiful (SNOWY) day! – Indeed

Change is Good

In the midst of change

There is so much going on in this head & body of mine. Things are changing. Thoughts are changing.  Change is a good thing. I’m getting (older) better, and I’m cool with that. It’s not about aging.. it’s about how well you age is what I think. I mean if your 26 and you look as if you had a hard life, body seems in poor health and it’s obviously apparent that you are not caring for yourself, then what difference does it make how old/young you are. Same is for if your nearing 40 with a healthy body, mind, spirit and a positive outlook on life, well why should you feel ashamed of your age. I’m saying this because we as women tend to shun away from our age.. however if you look the bomb at 40, well why mind telling?

I see plenty of woman around new york city and other places that simply take good care of themselves. Some older, some younger than I, but all have the same beautiful healthy spirit, and that’s what counts most. So if your happy with yourself, healthy and love your body, spirit, life.. Well jump up and scream… I’M (insert age here) AND I LOVE IT!!  I mean look at men, the older they get, if they know that they are fine, in great shape, happy and healthy; you can’t shut them up about telling how old they are. They tend to take the fine wine approach… I was born in 19??, I’m ?? year old, and look at me… I still got it! I hear men blabbing about themselves and such (even when they may not still have it, lol) but they are their best cheerleaders. So with that said, from now on I’m adopting that approach. I simply love the ooh’s and ahh’s when I tell my age… I’M 38 AND I LOVE IT!!!!!! 

Now, being 38 not far from the big 40, which I’m actually looking forward to (happy to make it there, God willing); there are many changes I’m noticing. Like my taste buds.. when did I begin to get such a craving for veggies! I hated blueberries all my life but in the past 6 months, my smoothies taste hopeless without them. I even brought some blueberry ice-cream yesterday and my goodness, it was the BOMB! As far as physical changes, my skin is changing, more sensitive to things that never really bothered me & my hair is growing longer and quicker than before. Maybe since my eating habits are changing in a more healthy direction, maybe i’m experiencing the benefits of the increase in vitamins.

A healthier choice

But there are extra things that I have to do to now. Like I have to be more conscious of the changes happening to my body and my diet. Like  Soda = PIMPLES.  Pineapple = HEARTBURN. Extra hot salsa = well, um… GAS!  Lol. 🙂 This summer I CRUSHED the Wegman’s doughnut & coffee section each time I visited Buffalo. But unlike the past where I may not have been visibly affected, I can visually see where each doughnut put it’s little mark on my midsection. NOT GOOD! And I have to work harder to get it off… UGH. But that’s the price to pay for extreme over indulgence. So yeah, it’s better to make wiser choices, but really it’s always been that way, now it’s just necessary.

I also feel a responsibility to be more earth-friendly. And a feeling of wanting to give back to the world in some sort of way. Find a charity to donate to, or volunteer time to. Heck a 5K walk even… something. I just feel more of a responsibility to giving back. So i’ll start off small, they let you guys know what i’ve come up with. In the meantime… let me know what your thinking, doing or any suggestions for me that you might have. I’m looking forward to hearing from you 🙂

Your Friend,


Check out LMFAO “SEXY AND I KNOW IT” … A great mantra, lol. SMH, Just like men… You can’t help but laugh though  🙂

Wonderful Summertime!

Beach Bound 🙂

Hey everybody! Glad to be back. It’s been a while since my last post and man have I been busy!

The past 2 months have been filled with.. fun! I couldn’t have asked for (or planned for that matter) a better summer! It had everything a summer is supposed to have.. A road trip (check!). Relaxing with family (check!). Hanging out with friends (check!). And even a little romance, lol. I ate a ton of great food. And by the way, the fruits this summer were nothing less than, BANGING! I even got plenty, and I mean plenty of…. SLEEP.  Who could ask for anything more?

I listened to some really good music and discovered new artist that were already out there, but that I hadn’t heard of. I became totally addicted to Noel Gourdin and must have played his song “Sorry” so much that my neighbors should know the lyrics verbatim. I watched Netflix and checked out old classics like “Mahogany” (one of my all-time favorites), “Manhattan”, “Buffalo 66” and plenty others.

Still looking good 🙂

While visiting back home for my ??th year high school reunion. I was pleased to see all the faces from years past. And unlikehow I imagined my ??th year High School reunion to be as a youth, I must say that we were a pretty good looking crowd! Actually it felt more like a family reunion filled with pleasant faces, smile and a genuine happiness to see each other once again. On the day before the reunion I treated myself to a mini-makeover at MACY’S on 34th street in Manhattan. And lucky me,  I got one of the best make-up artist in the store! She did a beautiful job putting my look together, so good that when it was time to go to bed I didn’t want to wash my face! She really took her time in carefully showing me how to apply the makeup just as she had, and I managed to pull it off for the reunion, thankfully.

The Big Homies, Tone & Dennis

you better ask somebody!

Hanging out with family and friends was cool. Though I’m pretty low key when I visit back home, I always take time to do silly stuff with my children and hang out with a few close friends. My usual, lunch or dinner with one of my Bff’s Mimi at her restaurant “The Taste of Thai” which hands down has the best Thai food in buffalo.  I hit up the Golden Nugget, lol, to hang out with buffalo’s finest (The Landon Crew) with my homeboy big Tone, Dennis, E, & Neil. I try to grab a cup of coffee & have a good convo with my homeboy Chris, then go around the way to check up on & get some knowledge from my old boxing trainer Dave B.

Omega Psi Phi 100th, DC

I copped the Canon T3i midway through the summer and have been having fun getting my photography on. I captured some really good flicks on my DC trip to the Omega Psi Phi 100th year Celebration.

And last but not least a chick is doing pretty good in the romance department. I guess it’s true what they say that when your not looking that’s it will come. So all and all it was a good summer. A very good summer Indeed 🙂

Check out the infectious song that had me buzzing all summer.. Noel Gourdin “Sorry”.

A closed book.. opening.. again.

I C U! 🙂

“Stop telling so much about yourself.. people don’t deserve to know everything about you…”  echos the familiar, protective, sometimes scolding, yet always loving words of my cousin Tyshica. Yeah, she’s right. I can delve a bit too into my personal at times. I just don’t have anything to hide, is my frame of thinking. But true enough it’s not that about hiding anything… it’s just that everyone should not be privy to know my business. I get it now cousin Tyshica, I have seen the light.

See, I am (was) the person that will tell you damn near “everything” from toe nail polish to hair weave, if you asked, lol. The person who strangers love walk up and start a conversation with in the grocery store. I don’t know why this occurs, but they seem extremely comfortable to walk right up and begin sharing their thoughts with me. So in return, I guess I do the same. Either way, cousin Tyshica is right, right, right, I don’t have to share everything. Somethings are better left unsaid and up to the imagination.

 On the flip side, I do think my sharing some things, may be beneficial to others. I am told all the time by people, how my views and perspectives helped them through a rough patch here and there. To hear that makes me happy! That kind of sharing is O.K.. I would like to do more of that.

Now, the weird thing is, when it comes to doing it in the form of a blog or vlog, I get SUPER SHY about it, which makes no sense to me. I mean I have everything I need to damn near do my own video internet show if I wanted; filming, editing, music and all. I have some great ideas and things that I am working on in my personal life to improve myself too. I know that I am not the only person who desires to better improve their life, body, and overall well being. I get e-mails from women and friends on my FB all the time, who like those strangers in the grocery store, share their thoughts, troubles and ambitions with me. Somewhere in all of this, I think that I am supposed to be giving back, by showing my journey, my transition, as it may be an inspiration to others. Yet when it comes to stepping in front of that blasted camera and clicking record… I get the chills… That’s crazy, but true. Damn that paradoxical personality trait of mine! :/

So since we know that fear and doubts are simply obstacles in life set to hold you back, then we must break through them. And, I must break through this… So going forward, I am going to take my first baby steps into making this blog more interactive by sharing some of my thoughts, views and glimpses of my personal journey with you from a more visual aspect. And I hope that you too will continue to share, your comments, ideas, and updates about your growth throughout your transition as well. So like the old Jodeci song says.. “Come and talk to me… ” & Let me know how things are coming along for you. TTY L8TR 🙂

Your friend,


I just wanna be alone with you…. There is nothing else I’d rather doooo…. (singing in my Tevin Campbell voice) 😮

Miss you!

Hey Guys! I missed you soooooooooo very much! Being away from my blog was rough, to say the least. It seems like every time I sit down to post lately, I’ve been… well.. interrupted! (Kinda like right now, sheesh!) But I be damned today if I don’t get this done, so phone on silent… doors closed and here we go! I really didn’t mean to stay away this long, but I have been very busy with school, finals and well just life. For a moment it felt like I would never get back to this. But I would never let that happen. Not at all! So here I am.

So first.. School. Well grades are coming in now and so far I have an A, 2 B’s and waiting on the last grade.  Yeah me! I was thinking for a second… but, hold the applause… because sad news is that I got an INC, in one of my classes… ugggh! That means (according to Prof. Stickler aka stick it to you for missing/being late to my classes) that I will have to revise the work  “he” feels that I need to…  to satisfy what “he” feels as getting the “entire” point to screenwriting. Isn’t when you miss some of the point, called “you earned a C”? I would’ve been cool with that, but an INC, is a little over the top, I think. But this is NEW YORK CITY where everything is OVER THE TOP, so who am I to forget that. I’m not going to argue it. So lemons to lemonade, I’ll take it as an opportunity to strengthen my screenwriting skills. Maybe there is something I missed… (sigh).

Now as far as the rest of my life, I’m feeling really good in my creative department. The words are coming, the ideas are pouring and the energy behind it all is pushing forward forcefully. And, over the next few weeks this blog will be heavily updated with a lot of post that I have put recently together for you all. Also, we will soon be entering the world of vlog-ing (video blogging) here at INDEEDLOVE.ME  as I get the face, all in the place. I was seriously dreading it at first, as I can be a bit shy (believe it or not) at times. But it’s necessary as some things are better said and heard. So yea, time to get the pimples gone and the makeup on point…  Here we go…

Lastly, I am grateful for the opportunity to introduce you the new site launching later this summer. It’s going to be awesome, and I have some dope interviews and interesting things for the adult Hip Hop lovers in us all. Gone are the days of having to dumb down your mind, to fit into the relms of teeny-bop Hip Hop… Now there’s a place to connect, share and build with other grown and sexy people just like you! So stay on the look out. I will keep you posted on it’s progress as we prepare to take it… LIVE!

In the meantime, I want to thank everyone that has been dropping by & checking for new updates on the regular. I promise you from this point, I will keep this site going strong!  B E Z for now.. kick it with y’all in a minute. One Love,

Your friend


I left my wallet in El Segundo

Hey Guys!! I miss you!!! :-/

Ok if you have been on here lately, you’ll notice that there haven’t been any post. Well because…. I left my computer in BUFFALO!!! I went there to film 2 documentaries a few weeks back and took my computer and external hard-drive with me to get ahead of my work. I put it away to keep the kids and their friends away from my stuff. And, the rest is HER-STORY.

So I was all the way back home, when I reached into my laptop bag to discover… It’s not there! I could’ve screamed. There was no turning back, especially with these gas prices! So I had to wait it out. 😦

Now I’m at school, editing my documentaries for finals… lo & behold these computers have internet! YEAH!! So here I am letting you all know what the deal is.

Anyhow, I  as usual, have been on my many adventures. Thankfully I have taken many flicks to post along with my blogs. So I will be bursting at the seams with newness… once I get my computer back that is. So for all those that’s been checking… A big THANK YOU 2 U. Keep checking back.

TTY Soon!


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